


Straighten Up and Fly Right

by danceswithgary



Category: Smallville
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-01-16
Updated: 2008-01-16
Packaged: 2017-10-03 23:39:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danceswithgary/pseuds/danceswithgary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Why can't you fly in a straight line?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Straighten Up and Fly Right

**Author's Note:**

> A comment exchanged with and the following scan from and voila! Silly!fic.  
> [Click for Scan](http://pics.livejournal.com/danceswithgary/pic/00066esq/)

"Not that I don't appreciate your prompt assistance in pulling me out of that building before it collapsed from the explosion, Superman, but was it really necessary to detour under the sprinkler system? Twice?"

"You were on fire, Luthor."

"It was only one shoulder, and you could have easily smothered it with your hands, leaving me dry instead of _dripping wet and chafing_."

"And have you complaining that I left bruises like the last time?"

"That was because you knew perfectly well that you didn't need to pat me down for weapons. And for your information, I've _never_ worn lead boxers."

"You told me I had to stop using my x-ray vision to spy on you because it was an invasion of privacy!"

"It _is_ when we're talking about my labs. And my offices. And...the executive washroom!"

"Hey, that was only once...because I thought that I heard you calling for me."

"I...never mind. Just...look out for that...! Why can't you fly in a straight line?"

"Would you have preferred going _through_ that helicopter?"

"No, but this nonsense of swooping around and between buildings and constantly changing elevations makes me nauseated. Take right now, for example. We were level with a news helicopter a minute ago, which now has a picture of you carrying me around dripping wet. Thank you so much for that, by the way. Now I'm having difficulty breathing due to lack of oxygen because we're too high above the ground."

"You must have had a really tough day with your evil minions. Anoxia certainly hasn't slowed down your complaints, Luthor. "

"As if you ever listen! Your super-hearing obviously has a mute button whenever it's time for me to tell you what I think about your constant abuse."

"That's not fair! I listen to everything you say. I even try to improve how I use my powers based on your _helpful suggestions_."

"Your powers...your ridiculous powers. Every time I think that I'm beginning to understand your limitations, something changes. Their very existence is an offense to anyone who has any familiarity with the laws of physics. None of them should even function in this universe! Newton and Einstein are spinning counter-clockwise in their graves because you should not be able to fly!"

"I can't fly?"

"It's impossible!"

"I.... You're absolutely right! I can't fly!"

"Stop it, you moronic alien! This isn't funny!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't save you, Luthor. I can't fly. You're the one that said it wasn't possible, and I _do_ listen to everything you say."

"When did Superman turn into Tinkerbell!"

"I'm not hearing any clapping, and that ground _is_ coming up fast. It's a good thing I bounce, although I have to admit that all this falling out of the sky is doing nothing to cure my fear of heights."

"You can't be serious! I can't believe...."

"Can't believe in what, Luthor? Me?"

"I'm sorry, all right? Of course you can fly!"

"Gotcha!"

"_You_ are sleeping on the couch for the next millennium."


End file.
